Monday, 18 December 2017
Summer Learning Journey Week Two Women at Work
One day I was walking along the deck of the ship when I hear a loud bang. I start to run as I see smoke coming from the far end of the ship. I run towards the room where your patients are waiting to receive treatment from the doctor. Just as I arrive at the door to their room I hear another loud bang and I turn slowly around. I see man laying down in a pool of blood I recognised him. It was Benjamin we where childhood friends I started to cry. I went inside and grabbed a first ad kit. I ran to him as fast as I could. I went on my knees I was shaking him and saying "wake up, wake up!" he was died. I held him by the shoulders and dragged him the room where the patients where. I could hear something from out side I looked through the window. "BANG!" I blacked out and woke up in the Hospital. I was in a coma for two years Benjamin already had his funeral. It's hard living life without Benjamin.
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Hey Makaea,
ReplyDeleteYou have written a tragic story that vividly portrays the devastation and sadness of the war. I could imagine the constant bombing and fire. I could hear the loud deafening noise of the bomb, jet planes, missiles, and people crying. I could also picture the main character (nurse) and Benjamin on the ship -both covered in blood and dirt.
This story generates feeling and emotions from the reader and it made me want to keep reading. I hope to read more of your writings like this in the future.
Have an amazing day,
Jade C.